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Not My Best Day

So I had LASIK last Friday, and til this Saturday, I can't work out. So that means more time for me to study, right? And am I studying? Nooooo. Today is Day 4, post-op for LASIK and I was supposed to go see my optometrist...note the verb "was." Problem is, when I tried to start my car, it.wouldn't.start. Plus when I entered my car, it was COOL. In the heat of summer. What in blazes is going on? Needless to say, I have not been a happy camper ever since, kinda sulking my way through the day after freaking out. A friend said I could call my car insurance's 24-hour whatever service, and my husband said I could call a cab to get to the doctor's or get my car jumpstarted to get to the mechanic, but that just all seems so STRESSFUL and uncertain. Good thing this all happened in our backyard/parking lot. Aaaargh.

And yesterday, I was obsessing over my online name that would go with my planned logos through a brilliant student designer: Therese Totten or Trissa Totten? I went from one to the other CONSTANTLY, the WHOLE day. I even looked at this name site to figure out what name was more me, and yet they're BOTH me. So I went with Therese: more formal, more known. I'll figure out Trissa later. And I registered that online address, just in case.

So with that yesterday and now my car not starting today, it has been a crappy, sulky week. The weather even agrees: it's been raining on and off since Sunday: good for the plants, crappy for my mood and industriousness. I usually eat at times likes these, and I admit I did, but I can do something else not as damaging to my waistline (but to my wallet instead, ulp): online shopping: but they were admittedly on my wishlist already, anyway, so there. I still couldn't work, so I figured on journaling, hence why I am here. Plus my flow hasn't dropped: I am way overdue: maybe because of all the stress? I dunno, but the fact that it's still waiting hasn't helped.

And let me tell you, those drops I have to use on my eyes? I have 3-4: Durezol (steroidal/anti-inflammatory), Zymaxid (antibiotic), and Optive/Optive Refresh (artificial tears). They ALL give me these weird bitter aftertastes at the back of my throat, not to mention a ton of eye gunk on my lashes and around my eyes! I was hoping to tell my doctor that today, but oh well. I just hope that these drops will be worth it, and I'm doing it all right, and my corneas will behave, and won't revert (like my cousin's did, yikes).

So what to do now? Continue being lazy and maybe pop a video in, or try and work coz that's what I'm home for, dammit? This writing/unloading exercise is making me feel a bit less bottled up/stressed, at least, so we'll see.

Alive and Kicking

Hello, everyone!

It has been a while, hasn't it? Well, a lot has transpired, and as you all know, life can keep us from living full out, sometimes, ironic as that may seem. On February 14, I enrolled in the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, a year-long course to be a holistic health coach. Since this is me, I also went ahead and enrolled in other programs to "beef up" my resume/"marketability." As the health coach classes progressed, I got less and less involved (and admittedly quite resentful) of my school job, so I quit, in time for LASIK surgery this past Friday. I am currently recovering (and should thus get off this computer soon!), but as of Saturday, my optometrist told me I have 20-20 vision, praise God! I hope my corneas stay behaved and don't revert. As for people saying it is painless, DO NOT BELIEVE THEM. There is some pain and especially light-sensitivity the 1st 2 days. And as for working the day after? Don't do it: I recommend working (if you must) at the very earliest on the 2nd day after surgery, e.g. if you had LASIK Friday, work minimally on Sunday, and keep your eyes as protected and hydrated as possible.

So I'm studying a lot, including working on having a logo for my health coaching, as well as recovering from LASIK, and planning for wedding # 3 with J, who, thank goodness, chose the pictures from wedding #2 for the wedding album: it stressed out my OCD-perfectionist mind too much. We're also still working on our thank you cards for wedding #2 (Manila). Not fun and quite tedious, actually, but gratefulness must be practiced.

J has been hard at work planting what little land he could use from the neighbor, as we don't have our own house and yard yet. In the process, he made a friend out of our neighbor's 10-year old son, which was sweet to see. He also made a solar oven, and wine from a kit-- a nice young Bergemais red, as well as strawberry wine. He canned tomato sauce today. What a guy.

Hopefully when wedding #3 is done and I'm more settled with my various programs we'll start looking at houses again, and I may even set up "shop" as a health coach in training :) I plan on specializing in women's health, specifically skin and digestive issues, and possibly hormonal issues, as well. We are doing our best living and loving in the process.

I have a favor to ask: Can y'all help me with my brand-spankin' new business name? I already have "Happy Healthy Life Now" set aside, but I am also debating between using "Therese Totten" or "Trissa Totten." Therese is my formal name, but I grew up with Trissa. I thought to grow out of it as I got older, but I find myself returning to it now: it feels like returning to my roots, my Self. I am really leaning toward Trissa. Someone I admire told me to stick to my gut feel, my individuality, and yet a classmate is telling me to stay formal in business. So now I am conflicted. Help, please!

In any case, be happy, be healthy, and be well.

Our 1st Christmas List as Husband-Wife

1. A good immersion blender for Jess

2. Affordable food dehydrator (I've wanted one since I tried being raw vegan in college but that kinda failed; I was vegan for a while, though, until I got to Houston, heh); I'm told this one is the best of the best.

3. Paperback versions of Griftopia, Eaarth, Eating Animals by JSF, MB's Complete Dehydrator Cookbook...and maybe Sweet Valley Confidential, just because I read Sweet Valley when I was younger :)

4. Maybe BRTC Jasmine Cream

5. Solar oven, worm bin, composting toilets, clothesline, rain barrel/drip system for the garden (Hello, Transition Houston!)

6. Australorp chickens (as well as chicken-related keeping gear) for when we get our house, and I'm still hoping Jelly Bean will still be up for adoption by the time we get a house.

Speaking of, we made an offer on a house not far from here and got the executed contract; now to hope and pray all the inspections go well!

7. Metal lawn stuff like roosters and flying pigs from the cute Mexican furniture and pottery store beside the gym we go to

8. Fresh Movie and stuff by Juliette De Bairacli-Levy

9. Stuff from Anthropologie, Paper Source, Etsy, Lululemon and Lucky Brand are always welcome

10. iPad 64 GB 3G+Wi-Fi, and maybe a Clamcase?

11. Yoga at places near us (now to go). We did some yoga today using a pass we got for free at Lululemon, so that was cool. Might think of some Vinyasa or Zumba or Hooping classes in the future.

Busy, busy: getting ready for my parents' visit in 4 days, so WHOA! Also been to the allergologist, who gave us all sorts of meds, and hey, turns out my childhood asthma's back :/ And I think I caught something from one of my kids as I'm hacking stuff up right now.

I should watch some Glee or Gray's Anatomy on Hulu to destress. Or continue being productive, heh.

6 days to Christmas. Ho, ho, ho. Here's to a good end to 2010 and an even better 2011. To what it holds, we don't know yet, but hopefully it will be good.

Write Now

I recently read this book by Jenna Woginrich, and she is my new hero. She recently wrote about writing your goals and dreams, so here goes.

I am tired of work sometimes that doesn't seem to go anywhere. I toil everyday and everyday it is the same. Maybe it is the stress and the mental fatigue, but I am exhausted and sick more often than I or my husband like. And that tells us that something's wrong. It makes me think of wanting to escape and do something else. Don't get me wrong: I don't hate my present jobs--I love being around my students! But I feel no matter what I do, the situation doesn't change. And I don't know about other people, but that fruitlessness is something that I can't deal with forever. I question my goal of being a teacher because of it: the system, I feel, is harming rather than helping, and that I cannot deal with, nor stomach. But I have to: it is my job, and it is slowly killing my spirit.

So before I lose my pluck and put my head down again, I will say my intention. I want a homestead of our own, with a dog, a cat, chickens, pygmy goats, vegetable and fruit plants, and maybe Angora rabbits, pigs and bees someday. I want to learn how to make butter, cheese, bread, soap and candles, as well as have homemade kombucha; live as off the grid or independently as possible. I want to learn how to play my Strumstick, and play it well. I want to learn how to knit and sew, to make socks and sweaters and beanies for my husband, and make dresses for myself. I want to make cards and paper products (with my rubber stamps and letter press) to supplement the farm, then sell this with our extra eggs and dairy, maybe some candles and soap, and maybe even fruits and vegetables and honey, as well as the occasional knitted product in a farmer's market. Then maybe we can even talk about children, if our bodies are blessed to have them: milky-coffee skin with brown or hazel eyes and black hair, and happy, inquisitive spirits who fear nothing and welcome everything.

And even as I want to eke out a farm existence, I still like to shop, or at least look. But if I can make it myself, then that's what I prefer. I am still a girl who likes shops and working out in a gym, as well as getting a good haircut and color, and the occasional pedicure and massage, but the crowded, expensive city with no room to homestead is beginning to frustrate me and lose its charm on me.

For now, I want this dog. Her name is Jelly Bean. She is a 6-month old rescue dog. Our friend Lisa told us about her. I sent in my application to have her, but I guess I heard wrong about our landlord being ok with dogs; I am still trying to persuade him to think otherwise. I hope I will be successful. Latest update: I'd like to meet this kitty, too. His name is Kai, and hopefully my husband won't be allergic to him, otherwise we have to look at this breeder who charges $600 per kitty. So yeah, methinks rescue animals are still best, costs included!

Let's start with Jelly Bean, and hope my husband and I can get out and hopefully find satisfaction, as well as our place in the sun.

Almost-Credding Bells?

Well, J and I have been talking of "Step 2"*, and I look at this website for grounding advice and whatnot; I've also been looking at dresses lately that should still be affordably priced, 'coz who can't discount prices nowadays??? Plus most girls like dresses and like to look pretty, and I am one of those. I was looking at this dress. Now for shoes: I don't know what style, especially as I don't have the teensiest feet. Maybe this? I was thinking something else: the more we can save, the more money we can use towards other stuff like honeymoon, or furniture, or other shopping stuff, or photographers like this one, and so on. I love pictures, so it's a semi-big deal: they're memories, and those count. Pictures and maybe gifts for guests like from here? Plus we won free invites here; yay! Ok, so things are still up in the air, no ring in sight, but J told me, "have patience, mouse*." And I said "mraow." We are going to a pre-crarriage* class next Saturday, which is completely free (whee!), by the way, here. That way, we save on a potential license, and all that, so yay more savings. Since I was too sick this weekend to go look at shiny jewelry, much to my frustration (body 1, me 0) and I will be going on a trip later this month with my folks to Machu Picchu, I playfully told J, now you can look without me! And he said yes :) We tried Etsy, but we didn't find anything that really caught us. So eh, we'll see. And J said that it has to be perfect for me, nothing from a bucket out of Safeway, no sir. Aaaw <3

So this is where we are. May Fortune/Lady Luck/God smile on us. We'll see how this will all turn out.



*Step 1= serious committed dating/moving in
Step 1.5= engagement?
Step 2= marriage
Step 2.5= preggers?
Step 3= children
- My folks did not follow this process AT ALL, so want mine to be perfect, whee! (Who can blame them for wanting the best for their baby girl/only child, though)

*mouse= me
bee= J

*credding= wedding
crarriage= marriage
-I refuse to say the actual word as I am too shy

2009 Juli

I have become a legal Texas Driver since July 14 :) Which means I have been driving to work. Woot woot; go me!

Housewarming last Saturday: yay  domesticity?

September and October I have no obligations, so that means more "us time", just me and J. Yay. <3

Looking for good education postgrad colleges in Texas. If anyone has ideas, please let me know.

So little money, so much to buy.

Still studying to be a teacher. Hopefully, hopefully.

Cardio kickboxing but frustrated as I don't seem to be losing weight, or I don't know, I hope I am.

I should eat less and exercise more. Even if J says I am beautiful. I don't think so, and wish I looked better.

So.

I hope it's J and me, more and more, together and for always.

Fuzzy mushy thoughts.

Goodnight.

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After a Long Absence, Hello

Today is my last day of work before a 2-day off. Sweet.

I want to make granola. and kombucha. and yogurt. 'Coz I think it can be done.

I still need to learn to ride a bike, and get my driver's license, and get a new SS card. And possibly change my health insurance. And maybe join a gym, beCAUSE I might be getting visibly fat. I feel tired, so I get lazy...and it's a vicious cycle. I SHOULD exercise but...NO BUTS!

And there are steps....maybe, steps to ascend? <3 I can dream and hope.

And of course I've got to pay bills. Dammit. We cannot escape death, bills and taxes.

Also thinking of looking into a school-related job? 'Coz that's where I want to be, hopefully, God-willing.

Things are good so far; I hope they can only get better. Life is good, not much to gripe about, but too busy either way.

Is this the new generation of yuppie-busy-blogging?

I try, anyway.

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Octuplets Make 14!

Suleman's pregnant belly (be forewarned that it is unbelievably ginormous)

Slideshow of pictures here

A 6-page interview here

Keeping up with mail more than reading news makes for a not-as-up-to-date me as I'd like. However, as J and I were divesting ourselves of climbing gear and I was speaking to David, a staff person from TRG came up and started remarking about this octuplet issue. I finally looked into it and holy momma. She has no real job, she has $50,000 in student loans, no more disability pay except for 3 of her 6 previous kids who have special needs, and is living practically off $490 in food stamps. Oh and all 14 children come from the same sperm donor, and the report says he is floored--and not in a good way. With the same fertility doctor as well: WTF were you thinking, doc? On a sidenote, there is criticism and speculation that she may have had cosmetic surgery to look like Angelina Jolie (see lips). Anyway. Suleman says children are a blessing from God. She had 6 kids one after the other, 3 of which are disabled, then went back to have the last of her frozen embryos implanted, "because she couldn't bear knowing down the road of the possibilities (of the possible extra children she could have had)." Now with 14, she says she is 100, 200, 300% done. 

She was an only child and wanted lots and lots of kids, and saved up for that, but having 6 kids one after the other is more than enough in my opinion, I who am an only child as well. But then to turn around and to have 8 more kids in one go? She started showing after 9 DAYS. And at 5 months she had to limit her physical activity, and not long after, her back gave out and she had to stay under complete bedrest in a hospital. That doesn't sound right at all. The media has vilified her, and for good reason: what will the quality of life be for all 14 kids? She says at the end of the day, it's all about her kids and her love for them and yada yada, and indeed that is the big part of the equation, and I think the source of the vilification. There is also speculation she did this to garner attention and possibly use her kids as cash-cows? However, we all have the right to live private lives--yes, even celebrities, and she's become one over night through this. So I think the best thing to do is not to encourage her/her "habit" with attention but instead to let her deal with the consequences and in so doing, also let her live her own life, let the kids grow up normally, as normal as one can with 13 other siblings in a household. What's done is done, now to see what the future will bring.

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Pagbuhos lang ng sama ng loob

Nag-away nanaman kami ni J. Parang bawat linggo nalang. Ngunit sa huli ay nagkakabalikan naman kami, at kasayahan at pagmamahal ang bumabalik. Ngunit bakit ganito?

Ay ewan. Pag nasa maligaya akong kalagayan, iniisip ko na kahit ano kailangang gawin, sana magkasama pa rin kami. Ngunit minsan kapag ako'y nasasaktan o napupundi...hindi ko alam. At iyan mismo ay masakit. Tila minsa'y sayang ang panahon at trabaho at pagnasa, ngunit sa aking tunay na kalooban, alam ko hindi ito totoo.

Ay ewan. Basta; titingan ko nalang sa susunod ng pagsikat ng araw.

Tis the Season

In this era of buy-buy-buy
and me-me-me,
let the age-old standards endure--
of family, and togetherness,
and love, I say that is what the holidays are (should be)
about.

All else are tinsel on the tree.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Christmas in 3 days, y'all. Here's to a good end to 2008, and a hopeful start to 2009! Have a joyous Christmas and a blessed New Year!